WAIT ... Why Am I Talking?

Opinion Columnist

I’ll admit to staring at my phone with a cocked head and screwed-up face trying to guess the meaning of a slangy text acronym. I can Google this stuff, but sometimes it feels like the dewy-skinned sender is challenging me to an age duel.

Okay, okay. I see how hip you are wasting my time. I’m not 12 with a POMS (Parent Over My Shoulder).

I did share a laugh when a 50-something texted me SMF (So Much Fun), thinking it meant (SMH) Shaking My Head, which is altogether different from SMH (Slap My Head), although SMF was, in fact, the intended sentiment. We finally decided that the SMH emoji would have been far more fitting, IOHO (In Our Humble Opinion).

This all brings me to WAIT (Why Am I Talking?). This one was new for me. It came to me as the acronym, bellowed by a friend, “W, A, I, T!” I just stood there thinking, WTF? Then she planted her feet to the ground, looked to the sky, and let out a wail of self-defeat. “Why am I talking?” She then apologized for rambling about the presidential election.

OMG. It was brilliant. This was an acronym I could die for. I knew exactly what she meant. It was the exact sentiment that has SMM (Shut My Mouth) not nearly enough times.

I’ve asked, “Why am I stringing these same words together again?” The topic, whatever topic, has been talked about to death, and my opinion changes nothing, yet I’m known to drone on about the world coming to an end. Yet, the sky is so beautiful, the bay looks like the Caribbean Sea, and here I am, missing out on what could be a most enjoyable conversation with this delightful person in front of me, a person who does not want, or need, to hear what I think is the truth. These words need not be said.

WAIT is my reminder to hold back on telling the story of the $6.99 cauliflower I did not buy at the grocery store three weeks ago. WAIT, I will not be talking about which administration had/has the smartest policies on reducing illegal immigration at our border because, frankly, I just don’t know enough. WAIT, I don’t have a pea of knowledge regarding Middle Eastern conflicts.

Maybe we could all benefit from some self-censorship. Honestly, not everyone—your Facebook friends, co-workers, friends, or family—needs to know your opinion on much of anything that is being covered on CNN or FOX News. Not everyone needs to be a thought leader.

But there is something new in our American culture. We’ve come to expect ourselves to hold strong, unshakeable opinions, believing it is our duty to share them with gusto. Today, casual opinions are thrown about with little to no understanding of a topic, folks posing as esteemed panelists participating in an unmoderated debate.

I find complaining and opinionating to be close cousins to gossip. They distract us from our day-to-day lives, make us feel smarter and more important, create an opportunity to vent, and, admittedly, can be downright entertaining. Few of us are a professional threat to Joe Rogan, Bill Maher, or Jon Stewart.

I suggest we all stop and ask, “Why am I talking? Why am I posting this? Why am I commenting? Do I really need to weigh in on this?”

I write from experience. We have a joke in my house. When I start going on and on, my husband talks over me, saying, “Stop talking,” and we both laugh. It works for us.

When he isn’t around to make me laugh at myself, I find that WAIT is just the reminder I need. Rather than speaking exhaustively about what’s wrong with the world, let’s take a breather to celebrate our status as mostly innocent bystanders and truly enjoy this summer.

Enjoy conversations without any heft of controversy, complaint, or criticism. Walk in the woods. Take up a hobby—mine is drawing.

This act of stepping back is a vacation you can afford to take. Stop talking. LOL.

Mary Keyes Rogers is a resident of Traverse City, providing consulting services to small business owners. Her career has included her radio show Mary in the Morning, Marigold Women in Business, executive director of the National Association of Women Business Owners, and Michigan Small Business Development Center.

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